Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
