the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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