"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
