So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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