Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
