Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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