so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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