She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
