let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
