Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
