they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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