and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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