ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
handjob tips. give me some.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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