I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
