i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
