To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
