Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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