I need to stop coming to work sober
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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