Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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