im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize