i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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