I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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