I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
