well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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