i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Randomize