holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
