I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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