Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Randomize
