she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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