We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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