I'm jealous of your bromance
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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