Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.