with your own penis?
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.