Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
