I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
My Higher Power is John Stamos
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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