its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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