A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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