I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
