New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
