i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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