I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
