You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
