he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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