So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
