I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
