Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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