.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
