Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
