if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
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