Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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