i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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