so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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