im holly from the hills drunk
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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