Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
