we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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