I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
